Reading Aloud as Revision Technique: What the Mouth and Ear Know

Are you ready to March Forth on this March 4th? If you don't know what I'm talking about, read this post by fellow TeachingAuthor JoAnn Early Macken. Today is also Poetry Friday. I don't exactly have a poem to share, but at the end of this post you'll find some advice from Mary Oliver that reads like poetry to me, along with a link to today's Poetry Friday roundup.

If you've been following our blog, you know our current topic is Reading Aloud, in honor of the recent celebrations of World Read Aloud Day and Read Across America. April kicked off the series with a discussion of reading aloud as it relates to poetry and picture books. Bobbi picked up where April left off, focusing on the relationship between listening and imagination. JoAnn then shared the titles of favorite picture books she read to her boys as well as advice from Mem Fox’s Reading Magic: Why Reading Aloud to Our Children Will Change Their Lives Forever (Harvest Books). And, most recently, Carla discussed how she often reads from her nonfiction books during school visits because in some cases "hearing the scene read aloud is more moving that reading it silently would be."

Today I'm going to look at the topic from a slightly different angle than my co-bloggers: that of a novelist revising a manuscript.

On Wednesday, I shared the results of my "30-Day Boost Your Writing Productivity Challenge," which was a great success. I finally finished a major revision of a middle-grade novel I've been working on for a LONG time. I'd originally written the novel in third-person-limited point of view, from the perspective of a ten-year-old boy. After having the opening pages critiqued by editors at several conferences, I realized the story didn't have a strong enough voice and decided to rewrite it in first person.

Interestingly, this isn't the first time I've rewritten a novel's point of view. The first draft of my middle-grade novel Rosa, Sola (Candlewick Press), which I wrote while I was in the Vermont College MFA program, was also in third-person-limited. I had a complete draft when one of my advisers encouraged me to rewrite it into first person. This task is harder than it may seem--it involves much more than simply changing "she" to "I." The first-person voice must sound true to the character in every respect, including her background, education, mood, way of seeing the world, etc. I resisted the change at first but eventually did as my adviser asked. She was pleased with the revision, but I wasn't. Rosa, Sola deals with a family tragedy, and, to me, the first-person narration sounded too mature and thoughtful to come from an average ten-year-old struggling with difficult emotions. So I rewrote the novel yet again, back to third-person-limited. That was the version that was eventually published. (You can read more about that revision process in this blog post.)

In the case of my current project, though, as soon as I'd rewritten the opening in first person the story felt much stronger and more engaging. I definitely prefer having a first-person narrator for this novel. But I needed to make sure the voice was consistent throughout, and for me, one of the best ways to do that is reading the manuscript aloud. Even though I've used reading aloud for this purpose before, I'm still amazed at the things I noticed/caught that I didn't when reading silently.

English professor Peter Elbow, author of Writing Without Teachers and Writing with Power, discusses this process when he talks about "what the mouth and ear know" in his most recent book, Vernacular Eloquence: What Speech Can Bring to Writing (Oxford University Press). Below is an excerpt from the chapter on "Revising by Reading Aloud.":

     "The mouth and ear tell us not only about individual sentences but also about longer passages. We might have worked on two individual sentences and made each one strong and clear, but when we read them one after another we hear something wrong at the joint. Perhaps there’s a slight contradiction, or they need a transition, or they need to be in a different sequence. Or perhaps each one has a lovely rhythm, but the two rhythms work against each other . . . .
     Reading aloud helps us hear problems in the larger organizational structures too. When we are revising, we do lots of stopping and starting; we often lose perspective on the whole as we follow the twists and turns of the micro organization and lose sight of the macro organization. We can’t see the forest for the trees. Even though logic seems much more a matter of mind than body, nevertheless we can often hear a lapse in logic. That is, we can hear when the train leaves the tracks, whether they are organizational tracks or logical tracks.
     Reading aloud can even help us feel a loss of energy or focus or presence. The mouth and ear can lead us to say, 'Okay, everything’s pretty strong and clear here, but you’re taking too long. Spit it out, get to the point quicker. You’re tiring me.' "     

I hope I'm not tiring you with this post, Readers, and I encourage you to read more of this chapter online here, especially if you're a classroom teacher. I think you'll be interested in Elbow's discussion of how he has his writing students read their work aloud, either to the class as a whole, or to a partner, as part of their revision process.

On to a different topic: with National Poetry Month just around the corner, I've been thinking about delving into poetry again, something I haven't done in ages. I pulled out my poetry journal and found an entry where I'd re-written a paragraph from Mary Oliver's A Poetry Handbook as a free-verse poem. I called it "Getting Ready," because that's the title of the chapter it's taken from. Here are Oliver's exact words, with only one phrase cut from the original text, as I wrote them in my journal:

          Getting Ready

     The part of the psyche

     that works

     in concert with consciousness

     to supply

     a necessary part of the poem

     exists in a mysterious,

     unmapped zone:

     not unconscious,

     not subconscious,

     but cautious.

     It learns quickly

     what sort of courtship

     it is going to be.

     Say you promise

     to be at your desk 

     in the evenings,

     from seven to nine.

     It waits,

     it watches.

     If you are reliably there,

     it begins to show itself--

     soon it begins to arrive

     when you do.

     But if you are only there

     sometimes

     and are frequently late

     or inattentive,

     it will appear fleetingly,

     or it will not appear at all. 

excerpt from A Poetry Handbook © Mary Oliver

Oliver's words reminded of why my "30-Day Boost Your Writing Productivity Challenge" was successful: because I committed to setting aside regular time to work on my manuscript. If I truly want to write poetry again, I'll need to do the same. I hope that's a commitment I'll be able to make.

Meanwhile, I plan to at least read more poetry, starting with the poems in today's Poetry Friday roundup over at Linda B's wonderful TeacherDance blog.

Happy writing!
Carmela

Wednesday Writing Workout: Dialogue Secrets You Don't Want to Miss, courtesy of Kym Brunner

Today I'm happy to share a guest Wednesday Writing Workout from the amazing Kym Brunner, who is celebrating the release of not one, but TWO, novels this summer.

When I met Kym at an SCBWI-IL conference a few years back, I couldn't get over her enthusiasm and energy. I had no idea how she found time to write, given that she was a busy mom with a full-time teaching job (teaching middle-schoolers, no less!).

According to her bio, Kym's method of creating a manuscript is a four-step process: write, procrastinate, sleep, repeat. She's addicted to Tazo chai tea, going to the movies, and reality TV. When she's not reading or writing, Kym teaches seventh grade full time. She lives in Arlington Heights, Illinois with her family and two trusty writing companions, a pair of Shih Tzus named Sophie and Kahlua.

Kym's debut novel, Wanted:  Dead or In Love (Merit Press), was released last month. Here's the intriguing synopsis:

Impulsive high school senior Monroe Baker is on probation for a recent crime, but strives to stay out of trouble by working as a flapper at her father's Roaring 20's dinner show theater. When she cuts herself on one of the spent bullets from her father's gangster memorabilia collection, she unwittingly awakens Bonnie Parker's spirit, who begins speaking to Monroe from inside her head. 

Later that evening, Monroe shows the slugs to Jack, a boy she meets at a party. He unknowingly becomes infected by Clyde, who soon commits a crime using Jack's body. The teens learn that they have less than twenty-four hours to ditch the criminals or they'll share their bodies with the deadly outlaws indefinitely. 

And here's the blurb for her second novel, One Smart Cookie (Omnific Publishing), which came out July 15:

Sixteen year old Sophie Dumbrowski, is an adorably inept teen living above her family-owned Polish bakery with her man-hungry mother and her spirit-conjuring grandmother, who together, are determined to find Sophie the perfect boyfriend. 

But when Sophie meets two hot guys on the same day, she wonders if  this a blessing or a curse. And is Sophie's inability to choose part of the reason the bakery business is failing miserably? The three generations of women need to use their heads, along with their hearts, to figure things out...before it's too late.

Today Kym shares a terrific Wednesday Writing Workout on dialogue.

Wednesday Writing Workout: 

SHH! DIALOGUE SECRETS YOU DON’T WANT TO MISS!

by Kym Brunner 

Quick! After a person’s appearance, what’s the first thing you notice when you meet someone? If you’re like most of us, it’s what comes out of their mouths. First impressions and all that. But when you read, you can’t see the characters, so your first impressions are made based on what the characters say, not how they look.

Simple concept, right? Not so simple to deliver.

SO…HOW DO YOU MAKE YOUR CHARACTER MAKE A GOOD FIRST IMPRESSION?

Give them something to say that’s:

• Believable
• Fits their personality
• Consistent, yet unexpected
• Short and natural

1) Believable Dialogue

How do you know if it’s believable or not? Put on your walking shoes and get out your notebook! Head to the spot where the prototype of your character would go. Need to write teens talking together at lunch? Go to a fast-food restaurant near a high school. Want to know what couples say when they’re on a date? Head to a movie theater early and go see the latest romantic comedy. You get the idea.

***HINT: LISTEN AND TAKE GOOD NOTES. I promise you’ll forget the words and how they said them if you don’t.

2
2) Dialogue that fits the character’s personality
There’s a famous writing cliché that says a reader should be able to read a line of dialogue and know who the character is without the identifying dialogue tag.

The key is being the character when you write his or her lines. Imagine YOU are the sensitive butcher who is very observant (seriously, picture yourself looking out of the eyes of the butcher with your hands on a raw steak) and then write his or her lines. Better yet, listen to a butcher talk to customers and/or interview one to ask his top three concerns about his job. You might be surprised to learn what those things are…and so might your reader.

***HINT: SWITCH INTO THE MINDS of all of your characters (even the minor ones) as you write to create words that only THEY would say.

Image courtesy of smarnad/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

3) Consistent, yet unexpected? Huh?

Your job is to make sure your characters are real, that they speak the truth (or not, depending on who they are). In real life, characters might keep their thoughts to themselves. Not so in fiction. Characters that are pushed to the brink must speak out––to a best friend, to the cabbie, to the offending party, to the police.

Yes, we want dialogue to be authentic, but it IS a story and it does need to intrigue your readers. So let them speak their mind and propel the story ahead by providing interesting thoughts for your readers to mull over.

***HINT: TO KEEP PACING ON TRACK, use frequent dialogue to break up paragraphs of exposition.

4) Short and Natural

Cut to the chase. No one likes listening to boring blowhards, so don’t let your characters be “one of those people.” Remember tuning out a boring teacher? That’s what didactic dialogue and info dumps feels like to your readers. Only include information that’s absolutely necessary for the story’s sake and skip the rest. You might need to know the backstory, but keep it to yourself.

***HINT: READ ALL DIALOGUE OUT LOUD. Change voices to the way you imagine the characters interacting and it’ll feel more “real.” If you’re bored with the conversation, so is your reader. If it doesn't sound the way a person really talks, cut it or revise it. Listen to real people and you’ll notice most of us talk in short sentences with breaks for others to add commentary.

So there you have it. Write dialogue that’s believable, fits the characters, necessary, and natural and your readers will come back for more!

*****

Hopefully you’ll find authentic dialogue galore in Wanted:  Dead or In Love, which features two alternating POVs––one from Monroe (a modern-day teen who becomes possessed internally by the infamous Bonnie Parker), and the other from Clyde Barrow himself (who works hard to take over the body of Jack Hale, a teen male).

And if cultural humor is more your style, you’ll get a helping of Polish spirits along with a bounty of teen angst in One Smart Cookie.

Kym Brunner

Thanks so much, Kym! Readers, let us know if you try any of these techniques. Meanwhile, if you'd like to connect with Kym, you can do so via her website, Facebook, Twitter, and Goodreads. And if you'd like a taste of Wanted:  Dead or In Love, here's the book trailer:

Happy writing (and reading!)

Carmela

Sylvia Vardell's Poetry Aloud Here! Using Your Voice in a Poem of Instruction ~

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Howdy Campers!

Happy Poetry Friday ~ the hostess for today's poetry feast is Karen Edmisten--thank you, Karen!

and congratulations to Sylvia Vardell on the publication of an updated, shiny NEW EDITION of her fabulous Poetry Aloud Here--Sharing Poetry with Children, which has been in print for over ten years (the new book is called Poetry Aloud Here 2)! I am elated that one of my poems (printed below) introduces the book.  Man-oh-man--what an honor!

Click here for Sylvia's description of her inspiring book (Booklist called the first edition "required reading for all children's librarians"), and here's the notice from ALA.

If you've been following TeachingAuthors, you know that we're in the middle of our series exploring Voice: what it is, how to find yours and/or how to teach it.  JoAnn kicked off our discussion with her definition of voice and her original poem, "I Have A Voice"; Jill continued with a real-life example of student voices and some wonderful picture book writers' voices; Carmela introduced us to a terrific book on this topic and offered an e.e.cummings poem as a stunning example of voice; Mary Ann showed us how she teaches how to create a character's voice; and Carmela came back with a Wednesday Writing Workout on distilling your own writing voice.

When talking about voice in my Writing the Children's Picture Book class, I read parts or all of the following books: Gennifer Choldenko's Moonstruck, Karla Kuskin's The Philharmonic Gets Dressed, Ruth Lercher Bornstein's Little Gorilla and Rabbit's Good News, Chris Raschka's Yo! Yes? and John Coltrane's Giant Steps, Susan Patron's Burgoo Stew, and many other books.  My heavens--what a chorus of wildly diverse voices in that flock of books!

Then I read them Edward Lear's "The Owl and the Pussy-Cat (sic)," which begins:

The Owl and the Pussy-cat went to sea
   In a beautiful pea-green boat,
They took some honey, and plenty of money,
   Wrapped up in a five-pound note.
The Owl looked up to the stars above,
   And sang to a small guitar,
"O lovely Pussy! O Pussy, my love,
    What a beautiful Pussy you are,
         You are,
         You are!
What a beautiful Pussy you are!" (read the rest here)

and give them 10-15 minutes to write the same story from the POV of one of the characters in the story.  They may decide to become the Owl the Pussycat, the boat, the ring...whatever they want.  (Someone in today's class wrote from the POV of the Bong Tree!) The results are wonderful, distinct and often hilarious (Pussycat as a woman of the night, for example...)  We immediately discover both the writer's and the character's voice.

Stéphane Jorisch illustrated this version of Lear's poem...
demonstrating his own distinctive voice

So many ways to convey one's voice!

Here's my poem that's in Sylvia's book (she says joyfully)--it's a poem of instruction. 

HOW TO READ A POEM ALOUD
by April Halprin Wayland

To begin,
tell the poet’s name
and the title
to your friend.

Savor every word—
let
    each
         line
              shine.

Then—
read it one more time.

Now, take a breath—
and sigh.

Then think about the poet,
at her desk,
late at night,
picking up her pen to write—

and why.

Now it's your turn: try writing your own poem of instruction!

poem and drawing (c) 2014 April Halprin Wayland, who thanks you for reading all the way to the end

Poetry Picture Book Giveaway! Poetry Friday! Who Am I? A Mask Poem

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Howdy Campers!

Happy Poetry Friday..and...today is the (gasp!) last day to win TeachingAuthor Jill Esbaum's brand new rhyming picture book about a hyper baby killdeer,
I HATCHED! All the details of how to enter are here! 

PF is at The Miss Rumphius Effect today--thanks,Tricia!

Earlier this week poet Joan Bransfield Graham stopped by on her blog tour to offer a terrific Wednesday Writers' Workout based on her new book, The Poem That Will Not End—Fun With Poetic Forms And Voices. 

She reminded me how much fun it is to write mask poems--poems from the point of view of  something else.

Here's one...an idea I've been tossing around for decades... 

 

photo by Dorothy Brooks Photography from morguefile.com

Gardenias Ask The Night
by April Halprin Wayland

Sky,
if we send
our scent high

will
Sister Moon
bloom?
  
poem © 2014 April Halprin Wayland. All rights reserved

 photo  from morguefile.com

Now it's your turn: who will you become?  Please share!

Remember, today, Friday, January 31st, is the last day to win our very own  
Jill Esbaum's wonderful, rhyming picture book about a hyper baby killdeer, I HATCHED! All the details of how to enter are here!
 
posted with love by April Halprin Wayland and the moon, who says she will.

POV: Greg Pincus' Wednesday Writing Workout & One Thing for 2014

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Howdy Campers! 

It's time for TeachingAuthors' first WWW of 2014!

Starting this year, we're cutting back a bit: we'll be featuring WWWs just once or twice a month. Why? It's our collective New Year's Resolution so each of us has more time to...W R I T E.

In fact, in our cozy TeachingAuthors's treehouse lounge this month,we're each sharing One Thing for 2014 to support our writing. Just One!  What a fine idea.

JoAnn talks about "developing fresh ideas while kneading, baking, and eating fresh bread" (yum!) while Esther plans to spend the first hour of her writing day (at least) living inside her own heroine's story--before she edits her students' work.

Me? I resolve to...wear more fun earrings--not just the default pearl studs I've worn forever.

Wait--what? A resolution about my writing?  Oy--it scares me to make a resolution about my writing.  What if I never actually do it?

But maybe I can make a teeny resolution.  Just One Thing.  Baby steps.

Okay...deep breath.  I'm going to focus on writing what's fun to write, whether it makes sense for my career or not: picture book, adult article, poem for kids or adults. 

And now...it's Wednesday--time for our guest author WWW!

In case you missed it, author Greg Pincus stopped by for a fabulous chat a few weeks ago about his debut novel, The 14 Fibs of Gregory K  and promised to come back with a writing exercise for you...and here it is!

No!!!! Anything But That!
A Prompt from a Different Perspective
Writing Prompt Thingee
by Greg Pincus

Playing with different perspectives can be a lot of fun as a writer...  but putting yourself into another person's mind can also be daunting.  One way to simplify that is to eliminate the other person and instead take the perspective of something inanimate. 

So... look around you right now. What do you see?

An apple? A pencil? A window? The floor?

morguefile.com

Whatever it is that you saw has a purpose in our world (a window can be to see through or serve as for decoration, for example) or is used by humans in some specific way or another (we walk on a floor; we eat an apple).

The writing workout is to write from the perspective of what you saw... and tell a story that will prevent a person from using "you" in the way we usually would.

For example, here's me as an apple...

morguefile.com

...who doesn't want to be eaten:

You can't see it, I know.
But a worm's just below
My glistening skin.
So when you bite in,
You won't get a crunch
But rather you'll munch
That poor worm's guts and pieces
And the gunk it releases.
Yes, I expect if you ate me
You'd expectorate me.
So please leave me be.
Go try cookies and tea.

poem © 2014 Greg Pincus. All rights reserved

morguefile.com

While this is a poem of simple couplets, the prompt can work as the way to start a  persuasive essay or as a way into perspective taking in poetry or fiction or, really, any sort of writing.  Unless, of course, the object you see is an essay and it tries to convince you NOT to write an essay. Then, well, who knows what happens?
Thank you, Greg--this sounds like fun!  I can hear my earrings talking to me now...

Readers: what object is calling you?  What is your One Thing for 2014? Fess up!

posted by April Halprin Wayland.

Magnificent Michelle Markel is today's Guest Teaching Author--and YOU can win her new book!

 
Howdy, Campers and Happy Poetry Friday!  (Scroll to the end to find out who's hosting today.)

I have the incredibly cool job of announcing the winner of Gone Fishing: A Novel in Verse by Tamera Will Wissinger; read the inspiring interview by Carmela here.  The lucky winner is...debut author and blogger Peggy Eddleman--yay, Peggy!

And if that isn't exciting enough, we have ANOTHER book giveaway contest beginning today, you lucky dogs!  Entry deadline is March 27th.  Details below.

Today I'm excited to introduce you to a dear friend and fab author, teacher and blogger, Michelle Markel.

Michelle's an avid fan and author of picture books, with a soft spot for biographies. Her titles include Dreamer From the Village: The Story of Marc Chagall, and The Fantastic Jungles of Henri Rousseau, one of Booklist’s ten best children’s art books of 2012, and a New York Public Library Best Book for Reading and Sharing.   Michelle is one of my fellow instructors at UCLA Extension’s Writers Program,  and one of my colleagues in the Children’s Authors Network. She makes her home in California's San Fernando Valley, about forty miles from the ocean, where she claims her thoughts often drift.

All of Michelle's books are original, beautifully written, and impeccably researched.  Her latest book, and one you will surely want to win, is Brave Girl: Clara and the Shirtwaist Makers’ Strike of 1909, which received four (!!!!) starred reviews and is a Junior Library Guild selection.  It's the inspiring true story of Clara Lemlich, a young immigrant woman who led the biggest strike of women workers in U.S. history in that time.  All this IN A PICTURE BOOK!  
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So, MM...how did you become a Teaching Author?

When my kids were in school, for fun and spare change, I taught poetry classes to children and young adults.  As my career progressed, I began teaching adults what I knew about writing children's books and getting them published. I found it to be vastly rewarding. (A little secret is that instructors constantly learn things too). My favorite part of teaching has always been the writing prompts. (You've got lots of terrific ones on this website!)  Nothing beats a front row seat to a burst of creativity, especially when the creator is surprised at what she's made.

Thanks for your complimenting our writing prompts!  What's a common problem your students have and how do you address it?

Many students have problems writing for the picture book audience. They may use irony, abstractions, introspection, a sense of maturity, complex sentences, and cultural references unfamiliar to a young child. They need more exposure to picture book language, and practice on how to read mindfully- which is part of their homework. In class we look at passages from children's books for all different age levels. I ask the students to find what the texts have in common, and how they differ. I discuss the psychological and emotional stages of childhood development. I write awful passages and ask them to correct it, whole group. During workshops we talk about writing that seems too grown up.

I need to take your class, Michelle!  Would you share a favorite writing exercise for our readers?.Character and conflict often get the most attention in writing classes. But sometimes the most original and heartfelt writing is inspired by exercises on setting. People have strong feelings and a multitude of sensory memories about places where they've grown up, spent a lot of time, or visited. I was drawn to write about Henri Rousseau in large part because of my love of Paris...

 
...where I lived while pursuing a BA in French, which later led to an MA, and a visit with my husband and daughter.

One of my most successful prompts is: 

Write about two different characters who are placed into a new setting--the desert, the mountains, anywhere.  One passage will be from the POV of a character who loves it, and the other from a character who hates it.

This is an opportunity to practice characterization, use of imagery in creating setting, and mood.

The results are often poignant and/or humorous.

Can you share a story about writing or publishing?

I thought my manuscript for Brave Girl might be my toughest one to sell. It's the story of Clara Lemlich, a fearless labor organizer who led garment workers on a long, difficult strike during the winter of 1909.  The text was undoubtedly dramatic, but on the other hand, it was gritty, and there hadn't been many picture books published about injustice in the workplace, and none about this woman in particular.

Sometimes you just feel the call--and there's no turning back. I felt that Clara’s heroism--her return to the picket lines after multiple arrests and broken ribs--deserved to be recognized. I tried to capture her fiery spirit in the writing. 

Ironically, this manuscript helped me get an agent and not long after, a contract with one of my all-time favorite publishers. I'm fortunate that Melissa Sweet so sensitively brought the story to life, and I'm thrilled that it has been well received by the critics. 

Can you see why I'm a firm believer in taking risks, and writing with passion? 

Absolutely!  Thanks for tackling such an important topic and congratulations on those FOUR starred reviews: School Library Journal, Booklist, Kirkus and Publishers Weekly--wowza!

Thank you so much for sitting down for a cuppa tea with our readers and for offering an autographed copy of Brave Girl for our book giveaway, Michelle!

"This book has fighting spirit in spades--

 you go, Clara!”--Booklist
(starred review) 

And now Children, as promised, here's your chance to win an autographed copy of Brave Girl: Clara and the Shirtwaist Makers’ Strike of 1909 written by Michelle Markel and illustrated by Melissa Sweet (Balzer and Bray).

You must follow our TeachingAuthors blog to enter our drawing. If you're not already a follower, you can sign up now in the sidebar to subscribe to our posts via email, Google Friend Connect, or Facebook Network blogs.

There are two ways to enter:
1) by a comment posted below
OR
2) by sending an email to teachingauthors [at] gmail [dot] com with "Book Giveaway" in the subject line.

Either way, to qualify, you must:
a) give us your first and last name AND
b) tell us how you follow us AND
c) tell us if you'll keep the book for yourself or give it to someone special.

If you enter via a comment, you MUST include a valid email address (formatted this way: youremail [at] gmail [dot] com).

Contest open only to residents of the United States. Incomplete entries will be discarded. Entry deadline is 11 pm (CST) Wednesday, March 27, 2013. Winners will be announced Friday, March 29.  Good luck to all!

And now...take a few minutes and try Michelle's writing prompt before you go.  You'll be glad you did.

Poetry Friday is hiding today!  It's at Ms Mac's blog, Check it Out, where she gifts us with a BEAUTIFUL poem by J. Patrick Lewis about Martin Luther King.  Wow.  Thanks for hosting, Jone!

...and do hop over to the 2nd Annual March Madness Poetry Tournament to watch your favorite "authletes" flex their poetic muscles and vote for your favorite poems!

 

 

The Point of Point of View by Jodi Paloni

Greetings and welcome to the kick off to our VCFA blog initiative. Today's guest blogger is Jodi Paloni, followed by a Writer's Workout by me. Enjoy!

Congregations of characters followed me around to high levels of distraction until I hollered at them: all right already! You all know how it works. But I didn't. In my first semester at Vermont College of Fine Arts (VCFA), I generated a pile of papers with various characters all telling the same story at the same time. POV were the three most frequently scrawled letters in the marginalia of my pages.

Huh?

It's a simple thing; if you're a beginner, choose a point of view and stick with it. If not, then have a clear intention for shifting it and teach your audience how to read your story.

Of course, it's not really that simple. In fact, just about everything in a story is affected by point of view and point of view affects just about everything in your story.

In the remaining space I have, I will use it to plead.

Get your hands on David Jauss's craft book, Alone With All That Could Happen  and study the essay, "From Long Shots to X-Rays: Distance and Point of View in Fiction." In 33 pages of definitions, descriptions, and examples that cite the best work in the business, youíll receive a semester's worth on the topic. And ironically, just like your characters, the wisdom of Jauss's discourse will not leave you alone.

The take-away is this: point of view is not only a matter of person. It's a matter of the degree of distance created between writers and readers.

Jodi Paloni will complete her MFA in Fiction Writing at Vermont College of Fine Arts (VCFA) in July 2011. She is currently working on a collection of linked stories. Her book reviews on linked story collections may be read at Contrary Magazine. She blogs at Rigmarole.   If you have questions about this post or the Vermont College MFA program, you may contact Jodi at jpaloni@myfairpoint.net.

Writing Workout

     I can identify with Jodi's POV problems. Sometimes I have a story or scene...and I don't really know whose story it is.  I will re-write the scene (and sometimes, gulp, the entire book) from three different points of view.  I limit myself to three possibilities...the scene as viewed by two different characters (I find first person easier, but it can be done in limited third person as well), and then what I call the "Dragnet POV" ("just the facts, ma'am.").  There are other possibilities--other characters observing, for instance, but I limit myself to three.  I always learn something new about at least one of my characters and who the real main character is.  This is also a fun exercise to use in the classroom.

To use in a classroom:
1. Have the students write down an actual conversation/argument they have had. (The "your-room-is-a-pigsty" argument is a frequent favorite in my classes.) Write it from the student's point of view.

2. Write the same scene again, this time from the parent's POV.

3. Write the incident as if you were presenting this as court testimony...no opinions or emotions allowed.
Just the facts.

Which was easier to write? Which makes the most sense within your story? What did you learn about your characters?

Workout posted by Mary Ann Rodman

There is more than one way to figure out what happens next in your story. Cynthia Newberry Martin, whose MFA from Vermont College of Fine Arts (VCFA) is just a few weeks away from fruition, will share some useful tips here on Wednesday, June 15.  Her guest post will be called "Decide vs Discover." Please stop by and see what she has to say.

The "R" Word: Revision (with a Tie-In to our Current Giveaway)

One of the greatest challenges writing teachers face is helping students understand that a first draft is only the beginning of the writing process. As TeachingAuthors, we often talk about the  "R" word: Revision.  Two weeks ago, Mary Ann shared her memories of being a young writer who hated revision. (You can read her post here.) I meet many young writers (and some not-so-young ones) with a similar attitude. They feel that after struggling long and hard to complete that first draft, they're done. That's it! Convincing these writers to revisit and revise can be next to impossible. Today I'll share three points I emphasize with such students to help them appreciate the value of revision. I hope these ideas will help you and/or your students embrace revision:

1. Revising a story doesn't mean it isn't a good story, only that it can be better.

In Seeing the Blue Between: Advice and Inspiration for Young Poets, compiled by Paul B. Janeczko, award-winning poet Naomi Shihab Nye writes:

"If a teacher told me to revise, I thought that meant my writing was a broken-down car that needed to go to the repair shop. I felt insulted. I didn't realize the teacher was saying, 'Make it shine. It's worth it.'

Now I see revision as a beautiful word of hope. It's a new vision of something. It means you don't have to be perfect the first time. What a relief!"

To emphasize this point, I tell young writers about the process I went through to write and eventually publish my novel, Rosa, Sola. I wrote the novel as my creative thesis while pursuing an MFA in Writing at Vermont College. The first draft took me three semesters to complete. By the end of my third-semester, my adviser was pleased with the manuscript. She was even willing to sign-off on it as my thesis, but she suggested I hold off and have my fourth-semester adviser critique it first. Or, as I tell young students, she was ready to give me a "B+," but she knew my next teacher could help me make it an "A."

My fourth-semester adviser did provide wonderful feedback, especially regarding some weaknesses in the plot. However, one of her suggestions was rather daunting: she wanted me to rewrite the entire 125-page novel from third-person point of view to first-person. I resisted the idea, in part because I liked it in third-person, and in part because of all the work such a change would require. In the end, though, I gave in and did the rewrite. At the same time, I revised the plot issues. When I was done, my adviser loved the first-person voice of the new draft. She signed-off on that version as my official thesis.

This is a picture of my thesis draft, which I show students when I talk about revision.

There was only one problem--I still preferred the voice in the earlier, third-person draft. The first-person narration didn't ring quite true to me; it felt too mature and thoughtful to come from an average ten-year-old struggling with complex emotions. After graduation, I decided to go back to third-person viewpoint before trying to sell the manuscript. Of course, since I'd changed the story's plot in between, I couldn't just go back to the earlier draft (which I had saved on my computer). I had to do another FULL rewrite. Knowing how much work that would take, I procrastinated for a long time. However, I eventually bit the bullet and did the rewrite. To my surprise, the revised third-person draft was MUCH better than my earlier third-person version, and it wasn't just because of the plot changes. The process of rewriting the story in first person had given me a better understanding of my main character, and that new understanding now made the third-person version  much richer .

This is the third-person draft that was accepted by Candlewick Press.

My revision story doesn't end here, though, which leads to my second point:

2. Published authors typically revise again (and again and again), even after they've sold their work.
In January 2003, I received a call from an editor at Candlewick Press who wanted to buy Rosa, Sola. I was ecstatic!  She mentioned on the phone that she had some revision suggestions she'd be sending me. Fortunately, I knew enough about publishing to know this was common. However, most of my students (even the adult ones) are surprised when I tell them this. I point out to them that the editor obviously thought I'd written a good novel or she wouldn't have wanted to buy it in the first place. Or, as Naomi Shihab Nye would say, the editor didn't think my novel was a broken-down car wreck; she simply wanted to help me make it shine.

First, the editor sent me a single-spaced, three-page letter filled with questions and suggestions for improving Rosa, Sola. It took me several months to work through those changes and send her a new manuscript. She then read through the story again and marked the pages she still had questions or comments on with yellow sticky notes. When I show that version of the manuscript to students, they usually gasp:   

Unfortunately, this photo only shows the sticky notes on the LEFT side of the pages. There are as many, if not more, on the right side.

I fixed those issues, sent the new draft back, and my editor replied with more yellow notes, though not quite as many this time:

Again, students are usually shocked to see all the pages that still need revision. However, by this time, the students usually begin to see my point--a first draft is only the beginning of the writing process, especially if you want to create something that really shines.

If you or your students aren't convinced such last minute changes are common, then I encourage you to read our Guest Teaching Author Sarah Campbell's blog post about revising her latest book, Growing Patterns: Fibonacci Numbers in Nature. And don't forget to enter for a chance to win an autographed copy of the book here.

Finally, the third point I remind students of to help them appreciate the value of revision:

3. We are constantly growing as writers.
The more we read and write, the more we grow as writers. While this may seem obvious, at least to adults, we often forget it. And for young writers who are learning and maturing at a tremendous rate, the passage of a month or more can make a tremendous difference in their writing skills. The following Writing Workout is a way to help you take advantage of that growth, whether you're a writer or a teacher.

Writing Workout:
Revision=Re-seeing

After submitting a draft of Rosa, Sola to my editor, I sometimes had to wait months for her feedback. While that long wait was often frustrating, it did have some benefits: by the time I looked at the manuscript again, I could read it more objectively. It was almost as though someone else had written it. The "cooling off" period, combined with my ongoing growth as a writer (mentioned in #3 above) made it easier to see how I could improve the story.

You can create a similar effect. After you or your students have completed what you believe is a polished draft of a piece of writing, try the following:

1. If the work is on a computer, print it out in a font you don't typically use. For example, if you usually print in Times New Roman, try an Arial or Verdana font, and maybe change the font size to slightly smaller or larger, too. If you're working with students who have written something by hand, have them type up and print out their work. (Addendum 3/15/10: I recently came across a blog post by Sharon Creech where she discusses using different colored paper for different drafts. I may try that some time. See her post here.)
2. Put the work aside for awhile, preferably, at least a month.  No matter how tempted you are, do NOT look at the manuscript at all during this time.
3. While the work is "cooling," keep reading and writing. Read the kinds of things you like to write and/or books about the craft of writing. At the same time, start a new writing project, brainstorm future writing topics, or write daily in a journal, even if for only a minute. (See April's post about this.) This step is VERY important--you want to continue your growth as writer while your story cools.
4. At the end of the month, pull out your "cooled" draft. When you read it, pretend it was written by someone else. What do you like about the piece? What don't you like about it? What would make it better?

Happy writing (and revising)!
Carmela