"And now we're back where we started
Here we go 'round again
Day after day, I get up and I say
I better do it again."
- The Kinks - Do It Again, 1983
I'm happy to report:
I'm doin' it again,
returning to the picture book biography I've yet to get working
as it should so my subject - a little-known but needs-to-be-
known colonial woman whose efforts changed her people
and our country, grabs the hearts of Young Readers the way
she grabbed mine.
This time, though?
After revisiting my research,
rereading successful mentor texts,
re-examining my numerous rejections,
and of course, reliving in my first notes how I fell in love
with my subject,
I reassessed the last of my iterations, the one that earned
admiring declines,
with both eyes fully refracted and cataract-free.
FINALLY...I'm doin' as I tell others - the students I teach,
the writers I coach, the Readers of this blog.
Why I didn't do so at the start, seven years ago (!) leaves
me gobsmackingly flummoxed.
Think: the proverbial shoemaker whose children go
shoeless.
Thankfully, in reading through the draft, I did discover
a few story elements that were already working as they
should.
I focused the telling on just ONE of my subject's many
lifetime accomplishments, making sure that accomplish-
ment was child-centered.
(Previous iterations offered a cradle-to-grave overview.)
My language and word choice allowed for a tone that
honored both the woman and the Times.
My love for the subject came through loud and clear.
I cringed, however, identifying all the parts that worked,
but needed to work better.
For starters, I offered my Reader not enough of a way
in to both this long-ago story and my subject's heart.
I needed to intensify the Recognizable Sentiment
that allowed my Reader to connect with the subject's
longed-for-quest - and - as important, with the
children my subject knew had lost their way.
The hook I offered wasn't enough to compel the
Reader to turn the page, worried, caring, fearful.
Sadly, too, my subject was not on the page.
She rarely spoke of what she sought, of what she was
feeling.
"Not enough Show..." I would have written in the
margins were the text written by one of my writers.
Lots of narration. Little scene building.
I left my Reader helpless to draw any relevancy to
the World today, despite the story's children's
status as immigrants.
More concrete details would have brought to life
my subject's World and Times.
Though beloved by me, my subject as presented
proved less inspiring than I'd hoped.
In summary, I'd paid little attention to the advice I
shared in my May 16, 2025 TeachingAuthors post
"It's All About the Heartbeat."
The Good News is, armed with Next Steps, I did
as I shared in my TeachingAuthors post in
November of 2010. I found a piece of music that
sounded like my story - Sergei Rachmaninoff's
Piano Concerto No. 2, first performed in 1901.
For months I've been walking and writing in this
Russian's company, fully lost in the wonder of his
sumptuous composition.
If you don't know the piece by its given name,
you will certainly know its themes.
You can listen here:
Like my picture book biography's subject, this
concerto - its poignancy at times, the longing
it expresses, the sweeps that build and crest,
grabbed my heart long ago the first time I heard
it. It has never let go.
And that was before I learned how Rachmaninoff
came to write the concerto.
Three years ago, in a Grant Park Symphony
program, I read how Rachmaninoff suffered
severe depression after his first piano concerto
was disastrously received, so severe he was
unable to compose, until he worked with an
acclaimed hypnotherapist for three years.
"You will begin to write your concerto," he was
told. "You will work with great facility. Your
concerto will be of excellent quality."
Need I write more?
This concerto not only holds Rachmaninoff's
story of Triumph with a deserved capital "T."
It holds my subject's story - one of finding a
way to help children find their way, never
turning back to do what she knew she needed
to do.
And it holds mine, too - one of FINALLY
finding a way to tell my subject's story to
Young Readers!
At the moment, while considering my
ending's wording and awaiting my
brilliant critique partners' critical
comments, I've decided to use the
Five-Star Revision Tool I recommended
in my September, 2011blog post to keep
me focused.
I've gathered for inclusion in the review
I wish to receive several of the critical
comments Amy Alznauer, Candace
Fleming, Barb Rosenstock and Suzanne
Slade - four of my Favorite Illinois authors -
garnered for their pb bios.
"A great book for a brave woman."
"An important story for children and adults
alike."
"...poetic text..."
"a perfect tribute..."
"Beautifully-written and timely."
"Brings an amazing woman to life."
Here's hoping I won't be singing the Kinks song
I opened with any time soon, at least to ready
this pb bio for submission.
But if that turns out to be?
At least I know: I'll be doin' as I tell others!
Here's to sowing, growing and readying your
stories!
Esther Hershenhorn
P.S.
Thanks to Rose Cappelli for hosting today's
Poetry Friday at Imagine the Possibilities.
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